How to heal after a breakup (4/4)
The end of a relationship can feel devastating. It can be hard to sleep, eat, or concentrate. The things you once thought were fun doesn’t appeal anymore. Depending on how long you were together or how intense the emotional attachment was, it may even feel like you don’t know what direction your life will take now.
But don’t give up faith, and don’t lose hope.
As with other types of grief, grieving after a breakup can be done in a healthy way that points you toward healing without spiralling into bitterness, shame, or self-loathing. Here are the last three tips on how to heal after a breakup:
Focus on yourself
It would be best if you didn’t compare your post-breakup journey to that of your ex. They may be thriving - or not. They may have moved on and started a new family - or not. This shouldn’t affect your journey anymore. Now more than ever, it’s time to focus on yourself.
Especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’ve probably developed common habits, routines you did together. These routines may have defined your life until now, but now is the time to figure out how to “fill in the gaps” the other person has left and found out who you are without them.
Focus on what you need and what makes you feel better - not on what your ex-partner, family, or society may think would be a good idea. Do what’s best for yourself, even if that means staying alone for now as you figure yourself out.
Rebuild your trust in relationships
It’s widespread initially, especially if you’ve been hurt a lot by the breakup, to feel like you don't want to be with anyone anymore. To feel like your trust in relationships has been shattered. But by going through this long and hard process, by allowing yourself to grieve, to build yourself up again, to pick up your pieces, and connect with yourself again, you’ll learn to rebuild your trust in the most important person: you.
And eventually (and only you can decide when that will be), you’ll be called to extend that trust to someone else. As we mentioned above, by focusing on yourself and staying single for a while to figure out what makes you tick and your needs truly are, you can enter this new relationship without carrying the ghosts of the past one.
You are not alone
Breaking up is a painful process. The most important thing is that you take care of yourself and focus on your healing before meeting another person. Take good care of yourself - and take as much time as you need so that when you’re ready, you can build the healthy relationship you deserve. And remember, you are not alone.
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