How to orgasm(3/4)
We don’t often think about what needs to happen to go from arousal to a satisfying orgasm. Your mind needs to stay clear and focused, your nerves are sensitive, and blood needs to flow to all the right places. There’s a mental, emotional, and physical aspect to sex, and unfortunately, a variety of problems can interfere.
Many women find they cannot climax during penile-vaginal sex. If a woman has never climaxed in her adult life, we call it primary orgasmic dysfunction. If she had been able to climax in the past but now finds it difficult or impossible, we call it secondary orgasmic dysfunction.
Only 10% of women easily climax. Most women are in the remaining 80 to 90%. I see many women in my practice who feel relief to know they are “normal” when they have trouble climaxing with just vaginal sex but can climax with direct clitoral stimulation. Unfortunately, many women think they are not normal if they cannot climax solely through vaginal intercourse. Most women can not! It is important to relax and know that you are normal. Here are other tips on how to orgasm:
Eliminate distractions
Turn off your phone, the lights, even blindfold yourself if you'd like. You want to be in the moment focusing on sensations, so all those little distractions can add up and prevent you from getting off.
Take a shower
All that steam will set the scene, plus, it eliminates those completely unnecessary "I just came back from the gym, and I am so sweaty" worries.
Stop thinking about them.
Let your partner know you want to trade off nights when it's all about you and other nights when you can return the favour. You may just hit a rhythm where you're in sync with each other, and every night is a home run for both of you.
Don’t panic if it feels impossible.
On average, it takes a person with a vulva 20 minutes of direct stimulation to have an orgasm (some people take more or less—that's normal too). It's common to reach a plateau phase when you're turned on but feel like you've stalled. Don't lose hope. Stick with what got you to that point, and you'll likely get there. If you don't, it could happen next time. Plus, there are still more tons of tips on this list.
Don't wait for your partner to get you there.
Don't make the common mistake of expecting your partner to "give" you an orgasm. If you're in a heterosexual relationship, men are great but, like, most of the time, vaginas are a complete mystery to them. Talking about what you like along the way will make it a lot easier for you to orgasm together.
0 Comment