How To Support Your Friends When They Become a Mom(1/4)
The transition to motherhood is a fast one. It’s exhilarating and beautiful, but it can be exhausting, confusing, and painful.
Being pregnant prepares you very little for actually having a baby. Some women have difficult births, some have easy ones, and some have traumatic ones. Some want to talk about it; some don’t. Every experience is really so different.
Becoming a mom is one of the most exciting phases of life. There’s no way to be ready, indeed. Even though the broken sleep, the tears from physical pain, not understanding what your child needs, the joy from getting it right, the worry from what you might be doing wrong or if they’re okay. It’s hard to want a few minutes alone and feel guilty for not being there every second of the day.
But it’s also highly blissful to have a sleeping baby on your chest. To have nonsensical conversations with your-week-old. To celebrate the first successful outing that’s not at the doctor’s office. It all happens so quickly and is over so fast. When you think you’ve figured them out, they need something else from you. Here are some tips on how to support your friends when they become a mom:
Remind her she’s doing a great job.
As I mentioned, suddenly, having a new human being to care for and be responsible for is overwhelming. It’s hard, and it isn’t very clear. The best thing anyone did for me was to tell me I was doing a great job. I needed those reminders to get me through the challenging moments.
A quick text or short call with these words can really help her when she needs it the most.
Offer food.
Food and caring for yourself take a backseat once the baby arrives. It can take a while to get into a rhythm, including making breakfast, lunch or dinner.
You could put together a basket of her favourite easy-to-grab snacks and bars, send her a gift card to her favourite take-out place, or make a favourite meal to drop off. You could even offer to do a grocery pickup for the family!
Rachel from The Confused Millennial says, “Bring food. Even if we tell you we don’t need you to bring anything, push and give a few food-specific options. For instance, ‘I know you said not to bring anything, but I’m going to stop and pick up bagels; what are your favourite flavours?'”
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