For the past nine months, you've made sure your BFF has felt like a total VIP (Very Important Preggo). You spent hours researching off-the-wall morning sickness remedies, debating the meaning of baby names, and strolling the car-seat aisle with her. When she said she felt like a whale, you told her how absolutely glowing she was—and booked her a day of pampering at the spa. You planned the perfect baby shower. But now that her little sweetpea has arrived, you may be thinking: now what?

The truth is, she needs your support and friendship now more than ever. The following ideas will make your girlfriend feel special and are sure to take a little stress off her during this crazy, wonderful, emotion-filled time.

Share your struggles

My friend Chardon says, “I love hearing what other moms are going through. I always feel less alone knowing others are experiencing the same thing.” There really is so much community and connection to be had in sharing what you’re going through.

If you’re a mom yourself, you can also be open about what you’re going through or have gone through! In some of my most challenging moments early on, I reminded myself frequently that other women had been doing this for thousands of years, and if they could, I could. 

Know when to share your advice and when to listen

It can be tempting to want to share advice or words of wisdom, but each mom knows her baby best. She knows what she’s tried and what hasn’t worked. Unless she asks for your opinion or thoughts, it’s best to just listen to her when she needs an ear. 

I know this is easier said than done, as I myself am often an advice-giver when I need to be solely a listener. I have a natural inclination to want to solve a problem when it’s presented (as I think many of us do). But sometimes, moms just need someone to understand their frustrations with them before they can move on. Sometimes just “that really sucks” is what she needs from you.