How To Support Your Friends When They Become a Mom(4/4)

By Rumi Samuel Published on January 29, 2023
How To Support Your Friends When They Become a Mom(4/4)

As we all know or can imagine, life changes dramatically after a newborn comes into the picture. Whether this is something you’ve experienced firsthand or something you’ve watched a loved one experience, we all know that having a baby is literally life-changing.

While many believe that family comes first, we all benefit from nurturing meaningful friendships in our lives, too. When a friend has a baby, whether it’s her first or fourth, she’ll appreciate the support of her friends as she goes through such a life-altering adjustment. But what are the best ways to show up for her? How do you show support while giving her the space to adjust to her new normal? 

These are valid questions, and ones that we wanted to address to make supporting the new mom in your life as simple as possible—so you can focus on getting baby (and best friend) snuggles. Read on for the last three ways to support a friend who just became a mom. 

Keep checking in

My friend Lindsey shares the importance of checking in on mom:

“I think the biggest piece of advice I’d give would be to keep checking on the friend. Often times Moms get overlooked, especially once the baby isn’t a newborn, and as Moms, we need someone to ask how we’re doing or what’s going on in our world and know that we have someone who will listen. I think this is especially important for Moms who don’t have a village around them.”

After the baby arrives, so much focus gets put on them. Pretty much the only thing the new parents are thinking about is keeping them alive and treasuring every little moment. Don’t forget to check in on mom and dad, too. 

Stick to the registry

When parents create a registry, they list what they actually need for their baby. When buying gifts for them, it’s easy to go off course in favour of cuter, and a lot of times, cheaper things. But really, your gift will be much more valued and appreciated if it’s something from the registry.

Rachel from The Confused Millennial says,

Ask what types of gifts we’d like. Every parent has different tastes and desires regarding their kids, and chances are people are shopping for what they want for themselves versus what actually aligns with the gift receiver. With today’s climate, the greatest gift can be no gift since we don’t like to add to waste, and returns can be impossible for parents. I’d suggest sticking to the registry. If you want to go off the registry, it may not be a fun gift, but parents always love diapers and money because babies are expensive! If you insist on a gift beyond the registry, diapers, or cash, stick with books. They never go out of style, foster good family values, and have far fewer preferences around them. 

Be there for her

Whether in person or over the phone, it’s important that, as her friend, you’re there for her. Let her know she can call you if she needs to. Check-in via text often, even if those texts go unanswered. Offer to help out in any way possible — grocery pickup, bringing over dinner, getting extra diapers — knowing she has your physical and emotional support can be powerful for a new mom.

Darrian from Made in Mom Jeans shares, 

Honestly, just BE THERE. There are so many times when I personally have felt abandoned by friends throughout pregnancy or have heard of people losing friends because they have a baby. I get that it’s a totally different lifestyle, but there’s no reason you can’t hang out with me just because I had a baby. Trust me; your friends need you now more than ever! Even if you just swing by with a coffee or ask them if they need anything before you run to the grocery store. Show up throughout their pregnancy and keep showing up once the baby comes!

So there we have it, eight tips for supporting your friends as they become new moms. The transition to motherhood (and fatherhood, as this doesn’t all just apply to moms) is a challenging one. More challenging than I ever imagined personally. I don’t know what I would have done some days without my friends there to support me. 

If you have friends that are becoming moms soon or have recently, we hope this advice sheds some new light on how to help them through the transition. Reading this post probably already means you’re doing a great job. 

Rumi Samuel

Rumi Samuel

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